As you know I am an admitted online dater. I’ve dated online since I was the tender age of 14, and have been doing it consistently since, except for the few breaks for relationships in between. As an adult I always ask my friends “Where do I meet men now besides online?” I ask them this question simply because I still feel that there is some sort of weird dork-ish association when you tell someone “Oh we met online.” It seems too bland, so dull, so unoriginal. I mean think about it. As a child you probably asked your parents at one point in their parental lives, “Mom and dad, how did you two meet?” More often than not your parents will have some sappy sweet story like my parents who were actually set up by their mothers (My mom’s mother was my dad’s mom’s Avon lady…make sense?) And how they were high school sweethearts, but went to separate schools and they lived happily ever after.
With my generation, I’m not looking forward to that awkward conversation you have with your children later in life when this inevitable question comes up. I mean think about it. Flash forward 15-20 years from now and little Kassandra Jr. walks up and says “Mommy, mommy! You and Daddy are so in love! How did you two meet so I know how to meet my future husband?” By this point I hope that said husband and I have contrived some nice intricately woven story about how we were both randomly traveling overseas and we spotted each other across the ruins at Pompeii and we instantly fell in love and spent the next 3 months backpacking our way across the continent. But, knowing me, I will have forgotten to go over this grand scheme with my future husband and then I will be caught in a fibbing situation with my future child. Not good parenting.
But have you noticed how boring and awkward some of the “how we met” stories are these days? So what do you tell your children? “Oh little Kassandra Jr., there was this one weekend where I decided to go to a sweaty, overpriced Manhattan club and about four Redbull and Vodkas in, this guy just started grinding up on my ass. It was love at first dry hump!”
To me though, that story is not as awkward as saying “Oh, little Kassandra Jr., there was this crazy invention called the Internet. And they built these websites where people could put up profiles about themselves and your daddy just totally dug what I wrote and loved my sexy pictures I posted, so we emailed, chatted and then we met in person. We both claimed that we were ‘too busy’ to meet people anywhere else but online. In reality though we were just too lazy and scared of rejection so we met online.” Sigh. How utterly depressing. I can just see my future daughter’s expression drop and any sort of idealistic notions she had of my utter awesomeness just cave and crash before my very eyes. Next thing I know she’s looking up to a Britney Spears or Hannah Montana character and I’ve lost her forever.
So…question is, where in the world do you meet people outside of online at my age? (I say, “my age” like I’m old and out of touch don’t I?) It seems like for your entire life you always have a built in comfort zone of meeting people. Up until about age 4 or 5 your parents took care of it. They took you on playdates or forced you to interact with the odd hodgepodge collection of neighborhood kiddies. Then school came and everyone found their niche of friends there. Next, college, which even if you went out of state or to a school where no one you knew went to, it was not hard to meet and make new friends there. Now as an adult there’s well…work? Now I don’t know about you, but I’m assuming that most companies, despite the romantic shenanigans on The Office or even in the halls of Seattle Grace Hospital, frown upon inter office love fests.
So for all the late twenty somethings, we are forced into bars, dirty clubs, and online encounters. Or if we have super duper friends that try pitying us, we may enter the dreaded world of blind dates…which by the way, don’t EVER agree to. But there has to be something else right? I mean I do live near Manhattan. If people have managed to create transportation systems underground and survive the smell, then surely a secret singles mixing ground must exist right?
Please. If anyone knows where this underground lair of intelligent, witty, sexy single men are who are all dying for committed relationships, share with the group. I have surmised a few guesses based simply on Googling. Some of the common answers are grocery stores, coffee shops, co-ed clothing stores, Central Park all that good stuff. I mean I cannot just keep waiting and hope that these men will just get disgusted like I did and move to the online world can I? Maybe. But secretly I think every woman is hoping that one day she will be walking down the street, catch the eye of some ridiculously charming man and wham! She’s in love. I’m not a betting woman, but I’d venture that stuff never happens, except in really predictable Hollywood movies.
However, maybe the problem is that I just haven’t been open to meeting people outside of the online. Of course I pay attention when I pass by a cute guy on the street, but in NYC, staring a little too long may get you in trouble. So watch out supermarkets, coffee shops and parks! Kassandra is on a man hunt.
With my generation, I’m not looking forward to that awkward conversation you have with your children later in life when this inevitable question comes up. I mean think about it. Flash forward 15-20 years from now and little Kassandra Jr. walks up and says “Mommy, mommy! You and Daddy are so in love! How did you two meet so I know how to meet my future husband?” By this point I hope that said husband and I have contrived some nice intricately woven story about how we were both randomly traveling overseas and we spotted each other across the ruins at Pompeii and we instantly fell in love and spent the next 3 months backpacking our way across the continent. But, knowing me, I will have forgotten to go over this grand scheme with my future husband and then I will be caught in a fibbing situation with my future child. Not good parenting.
But have you noticed how boring and awkward some of the “how we met” stories are these days? So what do you tell your children? “Oh little Kassandra Jr., there was this one weekend where I decided to go to a sweaty, overpriced Manhattan club and about four Redbull and Vodkas in, this guy just started grinding up on my ass. It was love at first dry hump!”
To me though, that story is not as awkward as saying “Oh, little Kassandra Jr., there was this crazy invention called the Internet. And they built these websites where people could put up profiles about themselves and your daddy just totally dug what I wrote and loved my sexy pictures I posted, so we emailed, chatted and then we met in person. We both claimed that we were ‘too busy’ to meet people anywhere else but online. In reality though we were just too lazy and scared of rejection so we met online.” Sigh. How utterly depressing. I can just see my future daughter’s expression drop and any sort of idealistic notions she had of my utter awesomeness just cave and crash before my very eyes. Next thing I know she’s looking up to a Britney Spears or Hannah Montana character and I’ve lost her forever.
So…question is, where in the world do you meet people outside of online at my age? (I say, “my age” like I’m old and out of touch don’t I?) It seems like for your entire life you always have a built in comfort zone of meeting people. Up until about age 4 or 5 your parents took care of it. They took you on playdates or forced you to interact with the odd hodgepodge collection of neighborhood kiddies. Then school came and everyone found their niche of friends there. Next, college, which even if you went out of state or to a school where no one you knew went to, it was not hard to meet and make new friends there. Now as an adult there’s well…work? Now I don’t know about you, but I’m assuming that most companies, despite the romantic shenanigans on The Office or even in the halls of Seattle Grace Hospital, frown upon inter office love fests.
So for all the late twenty somethings, we are forced into bars, dirty clubs, and online encounters. Or if we have super duper friends that try pitying us, we may enter the dreaded world of blind dates…which by the way, don’t EVER agree to. But there has to be something else right? I mean I do live near Manhattan. If people have managed to create transportation systems underground and survive the smell, then surely a secret singles mixing ground must exist right?
Please. If anyone knows where this underground lair of intelligent, witty, sexy single men are who are all dying for committed relationships, share with the group. I have surmised a few guesses based simply on Googling. Some of the common answers are grocery stores, coffee shops, co-ed clothing stores, Central Park all that good stuff. I mean I cannot just keep waiting and hope that these men will just get disgusted like I did and move to the online world can I? Maybe. But secretly I think every woman is hoping that one day she will be walking down the street, catch the eye of some ridiculously charming man and wham! She’s in love. I’m not a betting woman, but I’d venture that stuff never happens, except in really predictable Hollywood movies.
However, maybe the problem is that I just haven’t been open to meeting people outside of the online. Of course I pay attention when I pass by a cute guy on the street, but in NYC, staring a little too long may get you in trouble. So watch out supermarkets, coffee shops and parks! Kassandra is on a man hunt.
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3 comments:
You know how you hate those people who say, "Quit looking...that's when you'll find someone?" Yeah, I hated those people...until it happened to me. Seriously! I was waiting for a boy to get home from a far off, war-torn land when I got invited to a work party. The next week, I went on a date with a co-worker (something I said I'd NEVER do) and it's history from there.
Even dating online is hard; I'm one of those people that, like you, meets people, goes on a few dates, but never really has the whole thing come to fruition. And it's frustrating, too, because it just seems that everyone is too intent on playing games rather than seeing the person before them as a genuinely good person. I guess all that you can do is to keep at it because truth be told, even though it's "online," it's still a little easier than meeting someone in a bar or on the subway...
Oh what a read?...this question has come to mind so many times because I am caught in a crossroad...ever since I found out about the internet what seems like ions ago, I have gradually built a box for myself in many aspects of my life knowing I can get what I want online.
For example, my apartment...no problem craigslist...my job, no problem...Monster...now I have dated online before but never had a relationship (yet) with someone I met online and I think in the past one of the reasons I never got into dating online to that point is because I always feared the question from my friends (whom some still dont understand the whole internet thing) "where'd you guys meet?"...
Well here I am now...single again after a 3 year relationship with someone I met at work...this time around all options are open including online and I have already decided if I were to meet someone online and we get to the point of introducing friends, I will simply say "we met online" and then give them the beautiful story of how we went from online to offline to the lovely couple sitting in front of them.
Johny Jacques
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