Ignoring the Inner Bro Voice and Dialing that Number

One of the age old questions in the dating world is “How long should I wait before I call her?” And yes, I am using the word “her” because if a guy gives a girl a number we don’t blame this stupid game of “waiting it out” or having the desperation grace period expire. So yes men, this silly question applies to you alone.

All right, so you went to the club, you did all the right moves (for reference, please see “Oh Snap! That was your Best Move?” blog below) and you managed to muster up the drunk courage to ask this girl for her number at the end of the evening and oh surprise! She gave it to you! Now secretly most of you guys are running through your head at that moment torn with the emotion of thinking “I’m such a stud, I got her number” coupled with the nagging (probably true) thought of “Is her number real?” So, after your evening of sexually frustrated innuendo filled dancing at your favorite sweaty dance spot, you go home, fall into blissful sleep dreaming of your future lady…

BZZZZZ!! Alarm clock. Morning comes and as you sort through the haziness of last night you start scrolling through your phone and realize shazam! There’s a new number in there with a female’s name attached to it! Sitting there, you think about the amazing time you had with her, and your gut instinct is to call her right away and tell her what a great time you had and ask to schedule a date in the immediate future. But then, what I like to call the “Bro Voice” barges in. I call this voice the “Bro Voice” because that’s what it sounds like. It sounds like a misguided guido of a friend who embarks his many years of dating wisdom and drunk hook ups on you. Call it dating word vomit for the male-kind. Fellas, whatever you do, ignore the Bro Voice. Why you ask? Because your Bro Voice WANTS you to be single the rest of your life. He wants you to enjoy keggers, one night stands and never ever find a meaningful relationship with anything other than your hand and a bottle of lotion. (Now this may appeal to some of you…if it does, move on. Otherwise, REAL mean, please proceed with the learning installment.)

So, men, are you paying attention? Good. I am sick of this 3 day grace period nonsense that you all have hammered into every teenage boys psyche so much so that when they are full grown adults they let amazing woman after amazing woman walk by them left and right and they wonder what in the world happened. You think you are playing hard to get. You don’t want to seem desperate to call her. You want to have the control. Ok, ok, ok. I get it all. Trust me, I understand the fragile egos that are running rampant courtesy of the Bro Voice.

Fellas, if you had a good time with someone, why would you hesitate to share that with them? You know, as women that we love flattery. We love being told how amazingly awesome and wonderful we are. But better than that, we absolutely HATE the guessing period that inevitably occurs when a guy you gave your number to doesn’t call you. It drives of insane…literally. Because, as fairly heart over head guided creatures, we tend to wear our hearts on our sleeves and we like to have that part of our mental awareness satiated. So, do us a favor and satiate it. Call us. But keep it short.

Yes, I added that caveat. Making a quick call to a girl the next day, or hell, if you REALLY liked her, call her on your way home and keep it short and simple. A nice “It was lovely to meet you, I had a great time, and I really hope we can do it again” would suffice. No need to set up immediate dates at that time, but this brief interaction lets the woman know “Hey, he kind of likes me!” And that in return usually results in a “Hey, I kind of like him back!” The gesture does not go unnoticed and it makes her wait in eager anticipation of your forthcoming interaction.
So, after the brief encounter, call her within 24 hours of that initial call and set up a specific date. Oh, and gentleman, let me be real specific in the semantics of what I said. I said CALL her. Not text her. Not stalk her name on facebook or myspace and blow up her Wall. But actually physically pick up your cell phone and give her a ringy ding. The gesture is way more romantic.

Therefore…the lesson of the day is, ignore the Bro Voice. Tell him to go stag for the night. Send the wingman home and take home your girl that you woo’ed all evening. You worked for that number. You toiled hard to maneuver through the crowds to bring her drinks, and you showed off all your very best dance moves. Capture the moment and let her know she rocked.