One thing that I am learning the older I get is the fact that it becomes harder to make friends as a single person. Think about it. When you're growing up and even in college it's like there's already a built in system for you to make friends. Wherever you go there's going to be people your age all conglomerated into one social setting, so it's bound to happen that you make friends. As adults, you somewhat have that in form of your job. But with jobs, there's no guarantee that you're going to find similar people to you, or people within your age group. Also, with work friends, unfortunately it happens that most of the crap you talk about is, well...work. And who wants that? However, the one thing I found very difficult is meeting new girl friends. Like I told my friend the other day it's not like you can just walk up to another female at the bar and go, "Hey wanna be BFF's?" Therefore, as an accidental force of social nature, most of my friends are males. Mainly because a lot of them are either failed attempts at dating and we just decided to be friends, or they are friends of guys that I have tried dating or have been set up with. Either way, my circle of friends is about 90% sausage.
Don't get me wrong, having guy friends is a pretty awesome thing. It's like having a built in security system. Going to bars is nice because they protect you from weirdos, they make sure you get home safe and they always ensure you have a good time. It's also nice having guys to talk to so you can get the other perspective on a lot of things in life. Unfortunately, like all things there are downsides. One of the biggest ones I've realized lately is that when you build friendships around something that may have started as
something with a different intent, you are usually forced to bow out once these friends find girlfriends. Because once they get wind of you...well, it's over anyways.
Literally over the course of the past 2 months I have not lost one, not two, but THREE best guy friends because of this very fact. I'll admit it's depressing 1) because they were my best friend and 2) because I want a relationship too. For some reason I apparently have become the ubiquitous bachelorette that just is never, ever in relationships. I mean it's been over 2 years now and nada!
So maybe it is true that men and women can never truly be "friends" in the sense that there's always some sort of weird undertones that occur within and around those relationships. I mean I've been in those platonic friendships with guys before and for some reason, even once a rumor, or an inkling of a rumor starts that someone thinks one likes the other, things get weird.
Moral of the blog...any female readers out there that need a new BFF? Cause I'm down three, and apparently cannot rely on my bachelor male friends.
Don't get me wrong, having guy friends is a pretty awesome thing. It's like having a built in security system. Going to bars is nice because they protect you from weirdos, they make sure you get home safe and they always ensure you have a good time. It's also nice having guys to talk to so you can get the other perspective on a lot of things in life. Unfortunately, like all things there are downsides. One of the biggest ones I've realized lately is that when you build friendships around something that may have started as
something with a different intent, you are usually forced to bow out once these friends find girlfriends. Because once they get wind of you...well, it's over anyways.Literally over the course of the past 2 months I have not lost one, not two, but THREE best guy friends because of this very fact. I'll admit it's depressing 1) because they were my best friend and 2) because I want a relationship too. For some reason I apparently have become the ubiquitous bachelorette that just is never, ever in relationships. I mean it's been over 2 years now and nada!
So maybe it is true that men and women can never truly be "friends" in the sense that there's always some sort of weird undertones that occur within and around those relationships. I mean I've been in those platonic friendships with guys before and for some reason, even once a rumor, or an inkling of a rumor starts that someone thinks one likes the other, things get weird.
Moral of the blog...any female readers out there that need a new BFF? Cause I'm down three, and apparently cannot rely on my bachelor male friends.
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2 comments:
Hey Kassandra. I'm pretty sure I know exactly what you're talking about here. I made a bunch of guy friends in university who were in relationships, but the thing was, I was in a relationship myself. AKA - a diminished threat. After I broke up with my boyfriend, I slowly noticed that I was being edged out of certain social groups. One guy's girlfriend actually went travelling overseas for a while, and during that time, this guy and I had great conversations about school life, tennis, religion... Nothing romantic. In my head, I still wasn't a threat (all these guys I'm talking about have f'ing hot girlfriends anyway - I guess I never see myself as a threat next to them). However, when the girlfriend came back, boom... no more conversation with her boyfriend. At all. I don't get it. I was never a possessive girlfriend when in my previous long-term relationship. Then again, maybe it's just because I wasn't that in love. Still, I regret that I probably lost some meaningful friendships to envy and melodrama. Boo.
God I love this blog...you know the same thing happens to us men with female friends...the problem with me and female friends is that once we get close either I end up wanting to try something or visa versa...things always get weird especially during a night of drinking when we end up in the same place alone...then after that friendship over.
Or like you said, they find a man and its done...I have one BFF we been friends since high school and when we stop talking its always me in a relationship but somehow we always end up finding each other again and she always seems to be single...she's my convenient bff...my next relationship I promise myself I wont disconnect from her...last relationship my GF hated to even hear her name so I was kept away like a kid who was not allowed to play passed his front gate...
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