The Lyrics of a Perfect Man

It's not uncommon for people to hear me cite my favorite movie quote when it comes to finding love.

"I want to be his perfect verse over a tight beat." Quoted from the movie 'Brown Sugar'. By far and away this is the one quote that has summed up what I am searching for in someone. It ties in my love of music/hip hop in general and it describes the rhythimical ups, downs, and in-betweens that occur when you mix spoken word over a killer beat.

So I often make analogies to my dating escapades through the medium of music. When I was sitting in my car the other day driving down Boulevard East I caught myself flipping through my XM radio station pre-sets. I originally had my radio on one station and a song ended, and another one came on that I felt "lukewarm" about. It was one of those songs that have recently been played to death, but I still had an inkling of liking for the song. So then I thought, well let's see what's on this station and see if there's another song. (I know ALL of you have done this before so don't lie. You search the stations to see if something 'better' is on. We're all guilty.) And sure enough, Nas's new song, Hero was on (which I love). Sitting there pleased with my uncanny ability to realize that there had to be a better song on, a sinking feeling fell over me. Had I been doing this with men in my life? Constantly switching them out, or testing them, overplaying them until I can flip the dial and find something new and exciting? Pattern. Repeat.

Then I had all of those emotional feeling bad about myself feelings where I felt like an evil, monstrous woman who treated men like the next best song on the radio. After a few seconds of self-directed criticism, I began to think deeper.

What is this need for instant gratification now? It's saturated every aspect of our lives, including our relationships with people. I look at my parents and they grew up in a small town, so options of meeting people were far more limited than they are now. And they are madly in love! So why is it that our generation as ALLLLLLL of these endless options of finding someone they "connect" with, yet divorce rates are higher, relationships end quicker, people are serial daters and the list goes on and on.

So to continue with the music metaphors/analogies, why can't the partners we seek be more like our favorite CD that we always go back to, regardless of how many times we've listened to it like Nas' Illmatic, or Biggie's Ready to Die or insert your own title here. Or better yet, to keep the variety, why can't it be your favorite mixtape/cd? The one in which you've compiled all of your all time favorite songs into one collaborative genius masterpiece suited just for you and your tastes.

Maybe that's what I'm endlessly searching for. Not just the man who has the best song at that current moment, but rather the man who has learned my own unique compilation that I never get tired of.