The Friend Zone

So the other day a friend of mine came to me for advice about an encounter he had with a young lady and the discussion of what I like to call the "friend zone" appeared. For those who are unfamiliar, the friend zone is the special categorized box that women place their guy friends in. This "zone" is usually an asexual, friends only, nothing romantic about it zone. Call it a no-fun-zone if you will.

Either way, it seems as if women are more apt to put men in the friend zone than men are to put women there. For some reason or the other (I'm going to blame it on biology), men have a hard time being "just friends" with a woman. Seriously, there's no way to refute this. I've tried. Women, think of your guy friends. Straight guy friends. At some point in your friendship was there some sort of line crossed? An odd conversation? A drunken night? If you say no, you are LYING! It may have been a passing moment, but your guy friend has thought about it, at least once, if not more. Men, don't deny it.

As women, we are able to distinctly categorize men though into friends and non-friends. Our nature allows us to see men as non-sexual objects from time to time, thus the conception of the friend zone. So let's say you start talking to a guy and you are friends, I am not a gambling woman, but I would put money on it that your guy friend will never transpire into your boyfriend. Hollywood movies lie. It's more common to hear women say, "Oh we met on the top of Mt. Everest" than to hear them say "Oh we were just friends and one day decided to be more." It just doesn't happen that way. And this is why...

Guys, once a woman has relegated you to "friend" status, you've lost any chance of being intimate with her, simply for the reasons I'm about to point out. Women enjoy being mysterious with men they date. They like dating a man that does not know much about them. Does not know their past mistakes, their past history, their deepest darkest secrets. So why would they date their guy friend who has seen almost every single f'up they did in their dating career? Where's the mystery there? This guy probably knows ALL the dumb stuff you did, because he was your confidente in you time of men dilemmas. He was your listening ear, the person you admitted all your flaws, all your mistakes to in dating. Therefore, it becomes very hard for women to separate that person from the friend realm into the potential husband realm.

Now I'm not going to make any new friends by the post, simply because most people will raise their arms in disgust and claim that friendship is the basis for a relationship. I 100% agree. Friendship is the building blocks. However, friendship with the intent of building that foundation into something more is the key. If there was never that intent on the female side, it's hard to fabricate that intent later down the line.

I think many time women have a fanciful idea that love is this magically romantic occurrence. Where two people see each other across a room and are instantly the most disgustingly in love couple in the universe. And this is why the friend zone exists. Women are not in-tuned to the concept of love "growing" on someone. Instead, many women grew up with the fairly mythical idea that love will just slap them up side the face and they'll live happily ever after. However, the women who have realized that fanciful thoughts of falling in love don't usually occur (though I will admit, fate has proven that sometimes it does), are the ones who do have that best friend that blossoms into a loving and lasting partnership.

So women...open up your friend zone, and instead of containing it into a compartmentalized box, expand it into an ocean of possibilities. You may be surprised to have your happily ever after, after all.