Chivalry dead? Was it ever alive?

Ok, this has to be one of my biggest complaints about men, especially up on the East Coast. Sorry, I am allowed to make that claim since I have lived in the Midwest and the South and this really is only a trend up here in the Northeast...so get over it.

Anyways, back to my point. Where is chivalry? The courting a woman, taking her to a nice restaurant, a play, a park, the neighborhood cafe, hell anywhere other than your black leather couch in your bachelor pad. I cannot even count the amount of dates where the effort of putting together a first date was comparable to the effort my 7th grade boyfriend used when he would casually stroll by my locker before our first class.

Honestly, I make so many decisions in my daily life when it comes to work and my own daily habits that I am mentally exhausted by the time it comes to the question from a man "So what do you want to do?". Men...word of advice, don't EVER ask a woman that. Show initiative and plan something. Literally the minute a man asks me to make a decision about how he should spend his money on a date with me is the moment I've mentally checked off the idea that I now have complete and utter control. Contrary to most men's belief, that control is not something most women want. As long as we can control our OWN lives, that's usually enough for our daily schedules. So do yourself a favor and figure out what type of date I would be interested in.

Now, men, figuring out what type of date to go on...that's the trick. So don't lose me here. Stick with me. Golden information is about to ensue. Here's the trick to figuring out the "type" of date a woman wants...ready? Here it is...listen. I know you've heard that before, but it's true. Women have this uncanny knack of never directly stating exactly what it is they want. Part of it is uncertainty with what a woman wants, but the really smart women drop "hints" simply to see if you are PAYING ATTENTION. Men that pay attention, usually are asked for second, third, fourth, etc. dates. Really our code is not that hard to follow. For instance, here's an interaction, let's see if you can read between the lines and pay attention to what "type" of date I was asking for.

Kassandra: "Oh I absolutely love sports! I've never been to a game up here though since I grew up in Ohio."
Clueless Bachelor:"Yeah I'm a huge Knicks fan, I go to a lot of games. You know what, we should meet up for dinner before I go to this Saturday's game with my friend."

Seriously? Let's review. I said I love sports (which should be ANY man's fantasy). Secondly, I said I've never been to a game. Now wouldn't that be a perfect opportunity to say, wow I have an opportunity to make this a memorable first experience for this woman, something she'll always remember as her "first Knicks game". So, blunder number one, not picking up on the "hint" to take me to a game. Blunder number two, you just told me I wasn't worthy of your entire evening, but only useful as a pre-meet before your super awesome fun night with your friend. Way to make a woman feel amazing. And he wondered why I said no?

Either way, men have really gone off the track in terms of putting out the effort to make a first date a memorable experience for a woman. To this day, people in my parent's generation can remember their first dates to the tea, including what they wore, what movie they saw and how the entire evening went. I could barely tell you the first and last name of the guy I went on a date with the other week because it was so unmemorable.

Showing effort to women is almost a guarantee that they will respect you, regardless of your awkward first date traits such as sweating, stammering and forgetting to pull out her chair at dinner. And yes, we notice the ones who took some planning with their first date.

So fellas, keep the chivalry alive. Spend a little bit more money than the $20 you were planning on dropping at Chili's, or even get creative and do something FREE...Central Park or Battery Park is perfect to just walk around and get to know someone. You may thank me later.