Well Valentine’s Day is coming up so you think I’d have a ton of material to work with, but I’ll admit I’m experiencing a bit of a mental block in terms of writing lately. It could be the vicodin I’m on for my back pain that suddenly came on, but I would like to think that would make my works more interesting…so we shall see.
So, I find it very interesting this year that the day before Valentine’s Day is Friday the 13th. Ominous? Maybe. Either way, as an adult I’ve learned to accept the fact that Valentine’s Day is just not a holiday meant for me. Does everyone have that? It seems like there are certain holidays that occur throughout the year that go horribly wrong, regardless of the stage of your life at that given point in time. For me, New Year’s Eve/Day and Valentine’s Day are like my karmic holidays of retribution. It’s like God sits upstairs and says, “Oh shoot! February 14th is coming up, let’s make sure I mess with Kassandra SUPER good this year!” Maybe that’s just me. Either way, I feel like I did something awful in a previous life on one of those days so I’m paying for it now by having super duper crappy experiences on Valentine’s Day.
But what I find interesting is the fact that all of my guy friends come calling away asking me for loads of advice on how to set up a romantic and amazing Valentine’s Day for their loved one. I always find this humorous in the aspect that 1) I apparently suck with V day and 2) You really are going to ask the perpetually single girl advice on a couples reserved day? And I’m the one on vicodin??
So, here we are, a few days away from Valentine’s Day and I notice men scrambling left and right in and out of women’s stores, flower shops, candy shops and anywhere else they can pick up last minute gifts for their beloved. Therefore, I will impart what bare bottom romantic knowledge I can bestow upon those men who lack the “gifting gene”.
The gifting gene is a particular genetic aptitude for picking out gifts for someone, regardless of the holiday. Some of us, like me, are totally blessed on this front, and others….well, I’m here to help. I have yet to find a male that has captured the essence of the gifting gene, so I pray that he is out there somewhere and is giving advice to hapless men in their times of gifting turmoil. Men, I know the media permeates your life more than you think, so you are suckered into ideas that pleasing a woman on Valentine’s Day means sending her a giant bouquet of flowers or a large box of Godiva chocolates, or even for you fellas that are ballin’ beyond your means, you pick up a giant diamond something or the other. Well, while those gifts are fine and dandy, guess what? They’re not original. Look to your left on the subway, I guarantee you that dude bought his lady the same damn thing. If not, look to your right, cause he certainly did. Feel a little dumb now? It’s not entirely your fault sweetie…like most things let’s blame “media” and “society”. Typically they are to blame for any poor decisions we make in life. It’s ok, displacement of blame is the American thing to do.
The key to gift giving is quite simple. Well, simple in saying, but more complex in understanding. The key is “listening”. I know you’ve heard this one before fellas. But trust me, if you listen, and I mean truly listen to your woman you’re with, you will unlock infinite doors of knowledge. Men think women are infinitely more complex than what we truly are. But men, women are quite simple in nature…you just need to understand the code we speak in. Simple right? As women, we learned from generations of females before us on the art of “hint dropping”. Throughout every conversation probably since after Christmas, your significant lady in your life has probably been dropping hints about what she would like/do on Valentine’s Day. The question is, were you paying attention? Probably not. I’m sure there were nights when you two were talking and a conversation went a little something like this.
Boy: “Man, I’m exhausted.”
Girl: “Oh, me too. I can’t believe how long winter gets around here. My muscles always get so tense from the weather and walking to work, and working out. I really wish I could spend a day pampering myself, but I just don’t have the time.”
Boy: “Yeah, we all wish that. What’s on TV tonight?”
Ok, pop quiz. Now, it probably seems obvious now that it’s written out like that, but gentlemen, what would this lady absolutely LOVE for Valentine’s Day? A new sexy piece of lingerie? No, probably not. A giant box of chocolates? No. The girl works out for God’s sake, you really thinks she wants you sabotaging her workouts with chocolates?! How about…a massage. BINGO! See, you are a genius. Those hints are everywhere around you. And yes women consciously lay them out there hoping you’ll pick up on them.
So the question you may be asking is “Well Kassandra, when I asked her what she wanted for Valentine’s Day she never mentioned anything. Or she just said ‘surprise me!’ How do I make sense of that?” Well questioner, as women we don’t want to seem too demanding, so we leave subtle hints. The other reason is the fact that deep down we are looking for a man that understands our semi-unspoken needs. A man that realizes when his woman is stressed and surprises her with a massage is a keeper. So secretly she’s praying that he is living inside your subconscious, and that she just needs to evoke the spirit alive.
Ladies…please be aware of what you’re doing and throw a bone to your man every once in awhile. I know we all hope for the man that secretly knows how to figure us out, but more often than not no man will ever understand the elaborate code that you have built over the many years of your existence. Hell, you barely know the code and you invented it. So cut the guy some slack and be a little bit more direct. So, the next holiday/birthday/special occasion, just yell out “Hey I want ____” Maybe instead of being frustrated, you’ll actually end up getting what you asked for…so be careful what you wish for ladies.
So, I find it very interesting this year that the day before Valentine’s Day is Friday the 13th. Ominous? Maybe. Either way, as an adult I’ve learned to accept the fact that Valentine’s Day is just not a holiday meant for me. Does everyone have that? It seems like there are certain holidays that occur throughout the year that go horribly wrong, regardless of the stage of your life at that given point in time. For me, New Year’s Eve/Day and Valentine’s Day are like my karmic holidays of retribution. It’s like God sits upstairs and says, “Oh shoot! February 14th is coming up, let’s make sure I mess with Kassandra SUPER good this year!” Maybe that’s just me. Either way, I feel like I did something awful in a previous life on one of those days so I’m paying for it now by having super duper crappy experiences on Valentine’s Day.
But what I find interesting is the fact that all of my guy friends come calling away asking me for loads of advice on how to set up a romantic and amazing Valentine’s Day for their loved one. I always find this humorous in the aspect that 1) I apparently suck with V day and 2) You really are going to ask the perpetually single girl advice on a couples reserved day? And I’m the one on vicodin??
So, here we are, a few days away from Valentine’s Day and I notice men scrambling left and right in and out of women’s stores, flower shops, candy shops and anywhere else they can pick up last minute gifts for their beloved. Therefore, I will impart what bare bottom romantic knowledge I can bestow upon those men who lack the “gifting gene”.
The gifting gene is a particular genetic aptitude for picking out gifts for someone, regardless of the holiday. Some of us, like me, are totally blessed on this front, and others….well, I’m here to help. I have yet to find a male that has captured the essence of the gifting gene, so I pray that he is out there somewhere and is giving advice to hapless men in their times of gifting turmoil. Men, I know the media permeates your life more than you think, so you are suckered into ideas that pleasing a woman on Valentine’s Day means sending her a giant bouquet of flowers or a large box of Godiva chocolates, or even for you fellas that are ballin’ beyond your means, you pick up a giant diamond something or the other. Well, while those gifts are fine and dandy, guess what? They’re not original. Look to your left on the subway, I guarantee you that dude bought his lady the same damn thing. If not, look to your right, cause he certainly did. Feel a little dumb now? It’s not entirely your fault sweetie…like most things let’s blame “media” and “society”. Typically they are to blame for any poor decisions we make in life. It’s ok, displacement of blame is the American thing to do.
The key to gift giving is quite simple. Well, simple in saying, but more complex in understanding. The key is “listening”. I know you’ve heard this one before fellas. But trust me, if you listen, and I mean truly listen to your woman you’re with, you will unlock infinite doors of knowledge. Men think women are infinitely more complex than what we truly are. But men, women are quite simple in nature…you just need to understand the code we speak in. Simple right? As women, we learned from generations of females before us on the art of “hint dropping”. Throughout every conversation probably since after Christmas, your significant lady in your life has probably been dropping hints about what she would like/do on Valentine’s Day. The question is, were you paying attention? Probably not. I’m sure there were nights when you two were talking and a conversation went a little something like this.
Boy: “Man, I’m exhausted.”
Girl: “Oh, me too. I can’t believe how long winter gets around here. My muscles always get so tense from the weather and walking to work, and working out. I really wish I could spend a day pampering myself, but I just don’t have the time.”
Boy: “Yeah, we all wish that. What’s on TV tonight?”
Ok, pop quiz. Now, it probably seems obvious now that it’s written out like that, but gentlemen, what would this lady absolutely LOVE for Valentine’s Day? A new sexy piece of lingerie? No, probably not. A giant box of chocolates? No. The girl works out for God’s sake, you really thinks she wants you sabotaging her workouts with chocolates?! How about…a massage. BINGO! See, you are a genius. Those hints are everywhere around you. And yes women consciously lay them out there hoping you’ll pick up on them.
So the question you may be asking is “Well Kassandra, when I asked her what she wanted for Valentine’s Day she never mentioned anything. Or she just said ‘surprise me!’ How do I make sense of that?” Well questioner, as women we don’t want to seem too demanding, so we leave subtle hints. The other reason is the fact that deep down we are looking for a man that understands our semi-unspoken needs. A man that realizes when his woman is stressed and surprises her with a massage is a keeper. So secretly she’s praying that he is living inside your subconscious, and that she just needs to evoke the spirit alive.
Ladies…please be aware of what you’re doing and throw a bone to your man every once in awhile. I know we all hope for the man that secretly knows how to figure us out, but more often than not no man will ever understand the elaborate code that you have built over the many years of your existence. Hell, you barely know the code and you invented it. So cut the guy some slack and be a little bit more direct. So, the next holiday/birthday/special occasion, just yell out “Hey I want ____” Maybe instead of being frustrated, you’ll actually end up getting what you asked for…so be careful what you wish for ladies.
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