Your Answer to the Magazine Questionnaire

Ok, so of course I'm going to spend the first few sentences remarking about my extended leave again...damn I need to keep up with this better. I mean this blog could be made into a multimillion dollar book right? I figure if that guy who wrote "He's Just Not That Into You" then my blog will get picked up as the more awesome female version titled "Who Gives a Crap if He's Not that Into You, At Least I'm Into ME Dammit!". Very empowering I think. I'm sure instead it will be my lame-o version of "I Am an Awesome Date Advisor, but Can't Find a Man Myself". Oh bring on the bag lady persona.

Anyways, on my quest of everlasting love (or someone to share an apartment with...rent is HIGH up here), I had a dating experience not too long ago that made me think of those really awful magazine questionnaires that are supposed to give you some deep insight into how well you are in bed, or what type of girlfriend you'd be. By the way, I always cheated on those surveys and figured out which "persona" I wanted to fit into and answered accordingly to get that score. I'm sure that psychologically explains SO much. Maybe that'll be another post...women who cheat on surveys in magazines that have no relevance to life whatsover.

Anywho, back to the topic. Well on most of these pseudo-informational surveys, there's usually a question such as "If you were at a restaurant with someone and they had something on their face would you A) Tell them right away in your best outdoor voice B) Ignore the mess on their face C) Make a casual facial gesture indicating they are a slob and have stuff on their face or D) Ignore the mess, watch them put even more food on their face, chuckle on the inside and then realize you are the one being seen with this person in public so after 15 really awkward minutes you tell them that they now have dried food stuck to their face.

Ok...so I chose D. The guy was an utter SLOB! Granted, if you know me, I am by far and away not the most clean eater. In fact, my mother strongly advised against me wearing a white dress to Prom for that very reason. (God only knows what she'll do at my wedding...oh wait, I won't be wearing white will I? haha, man I set myself up GOOD for that one). Even better example my friends at college nicknamed my cleavage "The Village" because I used to spill so much food down there that the only explanation was that I was feeding the small boob people who lived in the crevices between Twin A and Twin B. Ok, I'm sure that was too much information. Regardless, the point is, it HAD to be bad for me to put on the "eww gross" face. I literally think the best part though was after he had blue cheese dressing smeared across his entire mouth for 5 minutes, he realized he should wipe is mouth and when he picked up the napkin it grazed the top of the whip cream on his belgian waffle, which when he wiped his mouth ended up on the side of his cheek. It took all of my willpower not to laugh...or walk out the door. Thank God it was a diner in New Jersey.

So ummm yeah another one bites the dust...