Walking Contradiction

I wonder how many people in life honestly take inventory of how much of what they say matches up to what they preach. Maybe I'm oblivious and people do it all the time. Me on the other hand, I apparently live in the land of cognitive dissonance. I love that term. When I was a sociology major in undergrad, cognitive dissonance was always my favorite sociological term because for some reason that word always seemed to describe my life in some way shape or form. Basically, cognitive dissonance in it's simplest sense is the uncomfy feeling you have when you hold two contradictory beliefs simultaneously. Most sociological theorists believe that we, as humans attempt to avoid this dissonance by either adjusting our beliefs so that the two coincide or we try to rationalize why we have those particular thoughts/beliefs.

For instance...I preach up and down about the ways of eating healthy and utilizing the gym, yet my lazy ass hasn't done either of those two things in well, quite awhile. But besides my unending battle with upcoming New Year's resolutions, I have learned that I'm quite the line walker of cognitive dissonance when it comes to relationships.

I read a few articles this weekend that made me think about how often I have 1) said I want a particular quality in a guy and have let him walk away or 2) disobeyed relationship advice/beliefs I've held and continuously go against them. Basically it's that lovely line from "The Wedding Planner" where Jennifer Lopez so eloquently states, "Those who can't wed, plan!" Therefore, since I apparently suck at finding relationships, I blog endlessly about my mistakes. Just consider me your dating stunt double.

Now guys, women really are crazy. Trust me, we are. But mainly it's because every time we go on a date with someone we are rattling our heads at the cognitive dissonance running through our veins. I mean for years we are told by our mothers, and fathers alike to find a kind, decent, honest, intelligent man. But ladies, now be honest, how many of us have gone after the rough, indecent, lying, questionable intellect men of this world? Go ahead, raise your hand. Why do we do this? Is it simply to disobey the golden rules our parents have set forth for us even into our adulthood? Do we as women enjoy this feeling of rebelliousness?

I don't think so. Now keep in mind, this is just my thought, and oh yes, my thoughts are usually awesome. But...my theory is this. Men, you enjoy fixing things correct? The bathroom tub that's leaking, or the car that just won't purr like a kitten, or even that darn light bulb that keeps going out. Well, hidden secret...women like to fix things to. They're called men. For some reason women have developed this innate intuitive sense to "fix" men. And the quotations around the word fix are there for a reason, because I firmly believe that no man can be "fixed", at least in the sense us women would like them to be. It's purely a control issue. For some weird off handed biological reason women enjoy the satisfaction of bringing home a changed man. It's an odd dependence of sorts where a woman can look back and be like "Yes, I had a part in that".

When I set out to write this blog, I had no intention of supporting one side or the other. Merely, I wanted to be an observer of relationships in life. Call it my sociological intuition. (See mom and dad, the degree DOES work in real life!) My meanderings are just that. They are brief glimpses into my own viewpoint and how those can be manifested to relationship situations. Or maybe this little paragraph is another demonstration of my cognitive dissonance on why the girl who cannot get a boyfriend writes about relationships and dating...sigh.