Circle of Exes (aka Circle of Insecurity)

So today was an interesting day. I was actually for I believe the first time in my life, "dis-invited" to a birthday party. Now as many of you know, I am THE life of the party, so my sudden dismissal from a party setting probably completely ruined the evening for this person I'm sure. (Yes, I'm patting my own back here...it's rough on my ego being disinvited/stood up anywhere/anytime). Ok, so the reason being that I was uninvited (or at least told it wouldn't be the "best" idea for me to come minus a male escort) was because this friend of mine and I went on a few dates about a year and a half ago, and his new live-in girlfriend who is truly and honestly is heads over heels in love with is not comfy with my presence. (Which is why I haven't even SEEN this said person since they started dating).

I totally get the fact, and or point, that this girl is making. I mean it's never a good situation being in a room with someone that your current partner has been involved with, no matter how big or small. Trust me, I've been on that end too, and it's almost equivalent to hearing fingernails run over a chalkboard. But this is the first time I've been on the other end of that stick. Being the "other woman" so to speak. Now it's very clear that this friend and I are truly only friends. Even when we stopped dating, I tried to set him up with some of my other friends in the area. But obviously that's not much of the point here.

I guess my main pull-away from this one is a few things. First off, I apparently need to broaden my circle of friends. I have learned that there are a lot of people/friends, obviously guy friends in my life that I have had some sort of brief history with that transpired into friendships. I know that once I get into another serious relationship (i.e. whenever Hell freezes over apparently) is going to be a moment where some of those relationships will inevitably end. I'm not sure if I'm completely prepared for that, and maybe that's why I cling to those friendships and somewhat sabotage nearly every dating experience I have. (God that's depressing to think...I hope I'm wrong on that one).

The second issue in this is the many insecurities that each and every one of us carries from one relationship to the next. Ladies and gentlemen, it is perfectly fine to be cautious, to have a bit of a guard up, and to take things slowly. But don't ever let the person you are with pay for the mistakes that someone else put in your life. I've learned this the hard ways over the years. But leave issues with another person in a past. All you can do is walk into relationships with an open heart, an open spirit and an open love. Over the years, it always seems that the moment my heart is open is the moment love walks in. Sometimes all we need to do is open up the circle...