Bob Villa's Got Nothin' on a Handywoman

With the recent indefinite vacation that God decided I needed to take on my life path, I had the opportunity to wander down to Kentucky to relive my college days. Granted there probably wasn't as much Bourbon or booty dancing as I did in college, but instead I replaced it with too much vodka/redbull and making fun of drunk college girls dancing on stages with too short dresses. Oh how I've matured.

While I'm in the good ol' Bluegrass, I usually end up staying with my friend Kate, who I adore and love. She's two years younger than me, and she's definitely the lady I attribute to my wilder days/side of my life. Regardless of the shenanigans we find ourselves in, we always have a great laugh about it and will have plenty of hysterical stories to share our future daughters... when they're of age of course.

So, it's been awhile since I've had some serious girl time. About 99% of my friends up on the East coast happen to be men, and most of my girlfriends live in the city, so seeing them is few and far happy hours in between. Therefore, I had the chance to catch up with many of my ladies, and the topic of "fixing" men came up.

Women, why do we do this? Invariably all of us have at least at some point in our dating and relationship lives attempted to fix a man. Notice I said "attempted". Guaranteed most of you haven't succeeded. And if you did succeed, ladies the man was probably not worth a damn if he let a woman "fix" him.

Men and women do have certain similarities in that deep down we're all "fixers". The difference though is that men have enough common sense to know that they can fix inanimate objects that are moldable and pliable. Whereas women, we apparently enjoy the challenge of fixing something live and fluid in nature. Maybe it's our competitive spirit. Either way, women receive some sort of devilish pleasure of saying "Yes, he was a bad boy until he met me. He's a changed man." No. He's a dumb man. Or a smart one if he fooled you enough to think you had anything to do with changing him.

Now ladies, I'm sure you are raising your hand like a kid in kindergarten who finally knows the answer to the teacher's question saying "But... but... I truly did change him!" or better yet, "I KNOW a friend who changed her man." Both are mythological creatures much like unicorns, mermaids and chupacabras. You think you saw them, they did a documentary about them, websites are dedicated to them and you even have a Disney movie in the works about it. All do not make them many more realer. (Yeah I'm pretty sure "realer" isn't a word, but the double emphasis was required).

My theory is that a habit of fixing comes from sheer laziness. Because let's be honest, it doesn't take any skill whatsoever to find a loser of a man. In fact, I guarantee that you could walk out to a bar, announce you are female and single and loser dudes will just line up for the taking. It's like a Chinese buffet. There's always plenty to eat, and you're always hungry for more about 30 minutes later.

It takes EFFORT to find a good man. True and genuine effort. Now I'm not saying effort as in you need to scour all the bars, libraries, grocery stores and internet sites forcing yourself to find the right man. (God I need to follow my own advice...dammit, I hate when that happens). The real effort comes in knowing that finding a good man requires you to put in the effort to be patient and wait for him to come to you. Because ladies...men are the same.

With men, their laziness far surpasses yours. It did not take a rocket scientist to inform those loser dudes to line up at your doorstep, nor did it take them any effort to do so. You came out and said "I'm ready, I'm willing and I'll try anything." Loser men can smell desperation like sharks smell blood in the water. They got ya, hook, line and sinker. Bad set up, I know.

To know someone is truly interested in you, let them do the work. Men are simple hunters in the truest sense in that they enjoy the pursuit (and I don't want ANY men saying otherwise, because if it was easy to catch you would never ever want it). I know this is a line that your mother and grandmother have told for years. Normally it comes in the wrapped up box of "Don't give it up too soon", but what mama is trying to tell you is, "Make him work for it!".

So, if you want a non-lazy, hard working, ambitious, and smart man you need to get rid of your lazy habits as well. Throw out your dating tool belt filled with loser-attracting arsenal. Instead, invest in something worth your time, every time. You.