Free Dating: Your New Guide to Single Enlightenment

Apologies for the long dramatic pause between postings. That's what moving to a new city will do I suppose!

Well I've been off and running and have been dating and enjoying some of the men of the greater Chicagoland area. Baseline conclusion: most men are mostly the same most of the time. Got that? Good.

So, I've been discussing with guy and girl friends alike about the pitfalls of being single, the suckiness of dating and why we all do this nonsense in the first place and I came to a pretty fun conclusion that I think I'm going to stick to.

My conclusion is that once you realize how silly, stupid and awkward dating is, the more fun you can have with it. Don't take it seriously is the bottom line. Call it "Free Dating". (Similar to Free Running, which I mistakenly called Free Basing once... boy was that awkward.) In this Free Dating, you more or less take it as it comes.

For instance, first dates are horrible, we can all agree on this one. Nothing makes people more nervous than meeting someone who may or may not reject them without really knowing anything about them. Trust me, it used to strike daggers of fear into my being. I mean in reality you're instantly being judged, its like the American Idol of dating. (If only I had a condensed tape of the "audition" episodes of my dating life... how perfect would that be?). So why take it so seriously? I'm not saying be a total jackass about it, but I think we all need to stop worrying about the other person and what they're feeling and only go with your own intuition. I consider myself quite a dating chameleon in the fact that I can pretty much change up my style and personality to accommodate the person sitting across from me. Call it date-switching. It's a fun trick I've picked up over the years. But lately I realized that all its doing is returning men to me that I have utterly no interest in being around, because that's not really who I am. So, rule on first dates with Free Dating is: "Screw it. Do you."

Now one of the things that drives me absolutely crazy with dating coaches, advice givers, mothers and BFF's is that they tell you "avoid awkward conversations like religion, politics, money, etc." Why? Think about it. These are three of the main things that married folks argue about and possibly get divorces over. Maybe its because someone told them not to discuss... hmmm maybe? So rule number two with Free Dating: "Discuss whatever you want."

Finally the most IMPORTANT aspect of free dating is just to have fun with it. In the end you're out, about, meeting someone new. Sometimes the person has nothing in common with you, or you aren't very interested, well so what? Try to enjoy the time as best as you can. Be silly, laugh a lot and let yourself be fascinated by the fact that you are meeting someone outside of your circle. Rule number three "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with." Well, maybe not love, love. But, just enjoy the moments. You did take the time out of your precious day, don't totally waste it.

Thank you... the offering basket will now be passed around.