You Look Like you Need a Spot

Normally, I tend to hate this time of year at the gym. Every year every single New Years Resoluter decides to make the resolution to hit the gym, eat well and lose weight. Which means a giant influx of gym-goers to my safe haven at NYSC. I was appalled the other night when I pulled up to the gym only to notice that some “creative” parking was going on in the lot. Annoyed, I rolled my eyes and trudged into the gym. Thankfully my gym is fairly large, so there were machines available.

So, as I’m working out, I notice that I’m still one of the very few brave females that wander over to the strength training equipment (specifically free weights). Women, why do you have this fear of walking over there? (Well…after this story I may heighten the fear, or alleviate it, depending on your personality.) I am no slouch in the gym ok. I’ve been lifting weights on a fairly consistent basis since I was in high school for sports. So, I know the basics and I know proper lifting technique, amount of weight, reps, rest time, etc. Couple that with my personality trait/flaw of hating it when people tell me the “correct” way to do something. (Correct is a state of mind don’t you think? I do.)

Ok, my story. I’m working out on a fairly standard arm curl machine, and I see this very good looking guy walking back and forth to the water fountain to get drinks between sets. So he passes by me a few times and as I’m listening to Beyonce’s “Diva”, I get a little air of confidence about myself and start giving my best sultry look in this guy’s direction every time he walks past. I will even shamelessly admit that I took my hair out of my ponytail and did my best hair flipping. Sad, but true. What can I say? He was hot. So I think I finally had him in my sights when I see him walk over to me. Inside, I get super excited thinking “Yes, I am sexy while working out and he’s gonna ask for my number! SCORE!” So said gentleman walks over and asks “Can I show you how to do that machine properly?”

WTF? Seriously? My face must have dropped, because my insides sure did deflate. Show me how to do it “correctly”?! Of all the things to ask, that’s what came to his mind? Damn. Even though my bitchy nature was raging and I wanted to say “Umm no” I let the nice guy show me the proper lifting technique. So, here I was completely embarrassed that some random guy at the gym decides to show me the best way to pump iron. I was completely mystified.
My guy reaction was to talk to one of my guy friends about this. So, I explained the entire story to them and after my rant, my friend just starts laughing at me. He said “Kassandra, he was trying to hit on you.” WTF again. That is how guys hit on girls at the gym? I’ll admit, I’m new to the whole picking up guys at my sweaty safe haven, but I do know it’s a primo place to meet guys. But still…I was confused. Why on earth would a guy attempt to pick up a girl simply by critiquing her? (That’s the way I saw it…a critique).

Then I began to dig a little deeper into this. Is this the male manifestation of being in power, in charge and inevitably their innate desire to “fix” things? I believe so. Men and women if you have been oblivious for your entire life do have separate languages, especially when it comes to flirting and romance. Women crave the sweet nothings, the compliments on beauty and grace (contrary to what you believe men, most of us really do not care to hear how bangin’ our ass looks in those jeans every time we go out). Men on the other hand love compliments and flirting about their strength, their power and their superiority to other men in their surrounding vicinity. And yes, my gym experience is a good analogy for this interaction. Because while I was seeking for a compliment on how I looked while I was working out by this hot gym guy saying “Hey you look so beautiful, let me take you out.”, he on the other hand wanted to show me his superiority and have me look at him with glowing, sparkling eyes and say “Oh thank you Gym Prince for demonstrating your superior weight lifting knowledge over mine and swooping me off my feet with your technique!” (And then I would swoon into a pile of dirty gym towels while he whisks me away to the steam room).

So, the dance of flirting with another person is knowing what a person wants to hear, rather than saying something so you receive the response back that you want. I think that made sense. Therefore, the next time you encounter someone you find attractive and you want to get to know them better, imagine what they would like to hear, and *gasp* tell them exactly that! Maybe they’ll get the hint to the game as well and play nice with responses back that you want to hear as well…and there’s your happy ending (both in the fairytale and extra special gift at the end of a massage sense). Wink.